Crawling
by Crimson Breeze
Summary: Trunks is lost in his painful memories what's he gonan do about it?One Shot Song fic


Hey everyone im back with another story. Well anywayz this fic is centered around mirai Trunks. He rules plus he can kick butt! Lol yeah he's my ultimate favorite character in DBZ. Ok enough of my talk on to the fic.  
  
Disclamier: I dont own anything so please don't sue me.  
  
-

_Crawling in my skin _

_These wounds they will not heal _

_Fear is how I fall _

_Confusing what is real_

-  
  
- - - ! - - - Falshback - - - ! - - -  
  
His heart was racing._There!_ his mind screamed as he saw the form of his best friend lying face front in the concrete and rubble. It was raining and he was soaked, but he diddn't care. No, all he cared about was knowing that Gohan was alive and that he would be okay.  
  
"You were everything to me." he said trying hard not to choke on his words.  
  
_"Everything."  
  
Please! Please let him be alive!_ These were the only thoughts that he could form in his mind.  
  
"Gohan?" asked a fourteen year old trunks softly, not bothering to hide the worry in his voice as he bent down and shook the cold body slightly.  
  
No answer.  
  
"Gohan?" he asked again, fear now evident in his voice and growing with each passing second.  
  
Still no answer.  
  
"Gohan?" Trunks asked again, desperation, fear, and worry flowing off his words as the young teen now shook the older man's body violently, trying fruitlessly to wake him up.  
  
But Gohan wouldn't wake.  
  
Realiztion sunk in to him like a stabbing knife piercing his rapidly beating heart.  
  
"No."  
  
He couldn't belive it.  
  
He wouldn't belive it.  
  
He refused to belive it.  
  
But it was true.  
  
And he knew it.  
  
Gohan was dead.  
  
"No." the word escaped his lips again, this time dripping with fear, horror, and disbelief.  
  
"No, Gohan." he whispered choking on his words as he slowly stood up.  
  
"No!"he screamed as he looked upwards, tears streaming from his eyes.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!"  
  
Pain, anger and hatred surged through him like never before.  
  
Suddenly, he felt power rush through his body. His lavender hair shot upward and turned into a shinning golden color and his once sky blue eyes were now a stunning emerald green.  
  
He had become a super sayain.  
  
- - - ! - - - End Flashback - - - ! - - -  
  
_-_

_ There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface _

_Consuming_

_ Confusing _

_This lack of self-coltrol I fear is never ending _

_Controlling_

_ I can't seem_

_ To find myself again_

_ -_  
  
He was filled with those memories, those haunting memories that wouldn't leave him alone.  
  
They enveloped him, surrounded him, followed him everywhere he went. No matter how much he tried to forget and no matter how much he tried to stop himself from thinking about it, he would always end up somewhere in these mountains where in which he was now, wondering how he had gotten there, how long he'd been there, and why he had let himself go there in the first place.  
  
But he couldn't seem to stop himself from doing these things. It was as if he lost all self-control, like something else was controlling him and he couldn't fight it, he couldn't stop himself. He felt like he was drowning in these memories. Memories of his past...  
  
_- _

_My walls are closing in _

_-  
_  
He knew they wern't real. He knew they were just images created by his mind... yet still he watched in fear as the two figures hovered around him.  
  
_- _

_Without a sence of confidence _

_And im convinced _

_That there's just to much pressure to take_

_ -_  
  
He clutched his head and shut his eyes tightly, willing them to go away. No! They're dead! I destoryed them, they can't hurt me or anyone else anymore!  
  
But as he told himself this over and over again their laughter only grew as they circled around him.  
  
_"Come on, Trunks, why don't you attak us?"  
  
"Yeah, what's wrong? Are we too much for you?"_  
  
And then they started laughing again.  
  
He shook his head furiously. _No! No! No! No! NO! They're not real! Don't listen! Ignore these thoughts!_  
  
But he couldn't ignore them, as he was consumed by his fears while he crouched there on his knees, his head clutched tightly in his hands, and his fears surrounding him.  
  
_- _

_I've felt this way before _

_So insecure_

_ -  
_  
"NO! Your not real!" he forced himself to belive this and slowly their laughter died down and they're figures faded.  
  
He diddn't know how many times this had happened to him but every time it was just as vivid as if it had only happened to him just yesterday.  
  
He wrapped his arms around himself wishing that he diddn't have these memories as the feeling of complete helplessness and insecurity washed over him once again.  
  
_- _

_Crawling in my skin_

_ These wounds they will not heal_

_ Fear is how I fall_

_ Confusing what is real_

_ -_  
  
These memories plauged him endlessly and everything he did to ease the pain in his heart seemed futile. Anger and sadness quickly began to build up inside of him.  
  
He stood up as he felt power surge through him. His hair shot up and turned blonde and his eyes turned bright green. A golden light surrounded him as he rose up into the sky and looked down at the rocky ground blow him, and he heard them again. There they were standing there with those confident smirks as they began laughing at him again.  
  
He couldn't take it anymore, he powered up a large ball of energy and threw it directally at them and they dissapered but then he felt as if somthing was behind him and he whirled around only to come face to face with a smirking Cell, more anger filled up inside him and in his furious state he began to punch and kick the air, his eyes were narrowed into slits, he no longer heard the laughter and he no longer saw their smirking faces or their cold eyes. No, now all he saw was the dead body of his mentor and best friend and the graves of Goku and his father, and of the rest of his friends, all in his mind's eye.  
  
Those thoughts hurt and angered him beyond belief.  
  
_'If i had been stronger maybe they'd still be here... or... at least... maybe Gohan would still be here.'_  
  
_- _

_Discomfort endlessly had pulled itself upon me _

_Distracting_

_ Reacting_

_ -_  
  
He lay there in his bed that night, just like every night, tossing and turning in his sleep.  
  
- - - !- - - Trunks' Dream - - - ! - - -  
  
He was running, running through a destoryed city. There was nothing there but ruins and death. The sky was a dark blood red, but he barely noticed this as he continued to run he diddn't even know why he was running or who or what he was running from. All he knew was that he had been running for a long time by how hard he was breatheing. Then it began to rain but he just kept on running then suddenly he stopped not beliving the sight before him.  
  
There lay Gohan with his face in the ground lying in a pool of his own blood.  
  
"Gohan!" Trunks called out but he got no answer. It was as if Gohan hadn't even heard him and Trunks knew why.  
  
It was becasue Gohan was dead.  
  
Tears began to slide down his cheeks, but they quickly stopped when everything around him fadded.  
  
Now he stood, well he diddn't know what he stood on since he felt nothing beneath his feet, the only thing he could see around him was blackness.  
  
_'Where am_ I?' he wondered but he suddenly forgot about finding out where he was when he saw three familiar figures a few feet in front of him and relief washed over him.  
  
It was Goku, Krilin, and Vegeta.  
  
They stood there smiling at him he as if encouraging him to join them but as soon as he took his first step a look of pain and shock came onto their previously smiling faces. Trunks stopped as fear came crashing over him once again. They fell to the ground, dead, and Trunks was able to see the three people who had just killed his friends.  
  
And there they stood, with those unfaltering smirks on their face. Cell, Jinzouningen, and Juunanagou and then they started laughing once again as Trunks fell to the ground holding himslef tightly, tears overflowing from his eyes.  
  
- - - ! - - -  
  
He woke with a startled gasp. Sweat beaded his forhead and there was a hot stinging feeling on his cheeks, breathing hard, Trunks remembered where he was.  
  
_'Im in my room. It wasn't real. It was just a dream.'  
_  
No, it hadn't been a dream. It was a nightmare. A nightmare similar to the ones that haunted him almost every night.  
  
He brought a hand up to his cheeck and felt something wet drip on his fingers and then again. After the third time he realized that they were tears and that he he had probally been crying ever since he had woken up and maybe even while he was asleep.  
  
He got out of bed and stepped into to the bathroom.  
  
After washing his face with cold water he looked up into the mirror hanging above the sink.  
  
_-_

_ Against my will I stand beside my own reflection_

_ -_  
  
He stared at himself for a minitue, unable to look away as he once again lost himself in his thoughts while he replayed the nightmare in his mind.  
  
_- _

_It's haunting how I can't seem _

_To find myself again_

_ -_  
  
After laying back down in his bed he couldn't seem to fall back to sleep again, though he wasn't sure if he really minded as he wondered what he had did to deserve this life of pain and misery.  
  
_-_

_ My walls are closing in_

_ -_  
  
He felt completely alone, sure he had his mother but he missed Gohan and Goku, Vegeta and everybody else.  
  
_- _

_Without a sense of confidence _

_And im convinced _

_That there's just to much prssure to take _

_-  
_  
_Vegeta._ He wondered what his prideful father would say if he were to see him like this.  
  
_'He'd probally blow up at me and say that I was being weak'  
  
'But maybe I am weak. Maybe thats why Gohan's dead!'  
  
'Gohan. Why? Why Gohan? Why did you go alone!?!'  
_  
He felt like screaming. He felt like dying. Trunks was ready to do just about anything to make this pin in his heart go away.  
  
He wanted eveything to be alright again.  
  
He wanted the feeling of emptiness and insecurity to go away.  
  
_- _

_I've felt this way before _

_So insecure_

_ -_  
  
He wondered if that was possible. And with these thoughts swimming through his head he fell into a restless yet dreamless sleep.  
  
- - - ! - - -  
  
The next day he found himself in those mountains again, but this time he had come here so that he could be alone. That way, Bulma wouldn't keep giving him that worried look at the tired and hurt expresion on his face everytime he began to think about them.  
  
_-_

_ Crawling in my skin_

_ These wounds they will not heal_

_ Fear is how I fall_

_ Confusing what is real_

_ -  
_  
Think.  
  
Think and remember.  
  
That was all he ever seemed to do lately.  
  
_- _

_Crawling in my skin_

_ These wounds they will not heal_

_ Fear is how I fall_

_ Confusing _

_-  
_  
And as he sat there he saw their faces again. Those cold, evil faces that has plagued him for so long.  
  
_- _

_Confusing what is real_

_ -_  
  
But there was nothing he could do except wait. And maybe, just maybe, time would heal these wounds and ease the pain in his hurt and broken heart.  
  
_- _

_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface _

_-_  
  
Until then he would live with the fear inside him.  
  
_- _

_Consuming_

_ -_  
  
Live with the pain enveloping him.  
  
_-_

_ Confusing what is real_

_ -_  
  
Live with the memories.  
  
_- _

_This lack of self control I fear is never ending_

_ -  
_  
All he could do now was cry. And as he cried a ghostly figure watched.  
  
Ghostly.  
  
For that was what it was. A Ghost.  
  
"I wonder what exctally goes through that head of yours, Trunks." it said to itself, for this figure had been watching the young man cry and kick and punch in rage for quite sometime now.  
  
But in all those days, Trunks had never said a word out loud.  
  
But the figure had slipped into Trunks' nightmares a few times and had a very good idea as to what was going on inside the young man's head.  
  
" If it wern't for you, then I could have done as I pleased. You suffered because Gero wanted to get revenge on Goku."  
  
The figure laughed.  
  
"He and all of his little friends died. They diddn't have to go through the pain that you do, did they?"  
  
In a way he could have been talking to the young man that sat on the rocks below him.  
  
But Trunks diddn't hear him.  
  
Trunks diddn't sense him.  
  
Trunks diddn't see him.  
  
Becasue he was alive and had to live with the pain.  
  
_- _

_Controlling_

_ -_  
  
"I will live again, Trunks."the ghost promised.  
  
" And then we'll see if I can really make you break down and cry." he sneered as he glared down at the young man who was now sobing uncontrollably blow the floating ghost.  
  
"Yes, we'll see." he said once again and then disapeared after one last glance at the crying young man beneath him.  
  
_- _

_Confusing what is real_

_ -_  
  
Ok, I know, im wierd. But this was just in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone so I decided to write it. Any way this is my opnion on what happens to Trunks and how he feels after he kills the andriods. And as for the ghost, well, this was my first one-shot but I do have a sequal in mind. But im only gonna write it if you guys think that this is good because it diddn't exactally come out the way I wanted it too, in fact I think I kinda freaked myself out with this but anyway please review and tell what you think if it totally sucks then I will get rid of it or maybe its actually good and I should write the sequal? Thanks for reading my fic and also thanks to those of you who review this or any of my other fics.  
  
Ja Ne,

kiran


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